The Rock Bought the XFL! 3 things it could become

by | Aug 3, 2020 | Features

The Rock just bought the XFL.

I know, right?

Not only that, but his business partner and ex-wife, Dany Garcia, becomes the first woman to own an entire sports league. History is being made left and right. That entire family is rolling in dough and influence. If their daughter doesn’t completely take over the WWE’s Women’s Division, I would be shocked.

The Future of the XFL

Owner of the XFL, Dany Garcia Via Twitter
Owner of the XFL, Dany Garcia Via Twitter

The XFL was never the success Vince McMahon envisioned or promised. Its original incarnation was never able to differentiate itself enough from the NFL. It did inspire the famous “He Hate Me” jersey and popularized the “Skycam” in the NFL. I can’t pinpoint a player who made a huge impact transitioning to the NFL nor could I call out any good XFL Team Names. Although any name is better than the Washington Football Team. I am not knocking the intent, just the effort.

Now that the franchise is in the hands of “The Most Electrifying Man In Sports Entertainment”, what could this brand become? Based on the wording of Dany Garcia’s tweet, the organization could still remain a football-focused business. Unless it finds a unique take on the game of pigskin, I don’t see how this league will prosper.

So, let’s come up with some outlandish-ass possibilities for the future of the XFL, now that the Rock & Garcia Connection has the ball.

Football + Obstacle Courses = Mayhem

THE TITAN GAMES — “The Titan Games Premiere” Episode 201/202 — Pictured: (l-r) Bartley Weaver IV, Matt Chan — (Photo by: Steve Dietl/NBC)

I love The Titan Games. It’s a fantastic escape from normal life and a great sendup to the classic show American Gladiators. (Side note: If you haven’t watched the Family Matters episode “Surely You Joust”, go do that right now and then come back and read the rest of this. I’ll wait.) If you apply the same idea to football, you get pure mayhem, and that’s what people want.

Work as a team to move heavy shit out of the way, giving your Running Backs or Receivers a semi-clear path to the end zone. The opposing team must actively work against your efforts to move said heavy shit.

Capture the Flag (Flag=Ball)

Their next flag to capture…

Let’s go old school. One team starts with the ball. The opposing team must make it past their obstacles and defenses to claim “The Flag”. Once the flag ball hybrid is claimed, can the opposing team make it back to their zone for the Touchdown? Keep the same “4 downs to score” rule and see who is able to walk out with any points at all. It’s like soccer, but way harder hitting.

King of the Hill

Like that, but with a football. And like, a ref or something.

It’s XFL football, but at a steep incline. You score by trecking the football up to the end zone and dethroning your opponents at the top. Battle your way past the defense to the top of the hill, grab a breathe and get ready to defend because your opponents are on their way up. I am getting chills just thinking about it.

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